


Missing Him

by PhasicDreamer



Series: A Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Other, Tears, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6469903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhasicDreamer/pseuds/PhasicDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been weeks since you last saw a living human being and the crippling loneliness is only rivaled by your hungry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Him

It's been weeks since you last saw a living human being and the crippling loneliness is only rivaled by your hungry.

You can't remember the last time you ate, but you can't remember a lot of things now a days.

You drag yourself down the desolate road, not even the shell of a car or rotting corpse litter the boiling asphalt. You don't know how you got here, you don't know where you've been, you wander without direction, hoping to find something, anything.

Hoping to find them, to find him, again.

You still remember that day clearly, the gun fire, the screams and groans, the blood. The day the prison fell and you were separated from your group, you're family, and the love of your life.

The only thing on your mind that day was finding him through the chaos and death happening around you, praying to whatever god was out there that you would eventually spot that familiar sheriff's hat.

Your prayers went unheard and you escaped the prison alone and alone you remain.

The day Daryl drug you into their little community, nothing more than a walking skeleton of a girl, Carl stuck to you like glue and you to him.

You don't know why he was immediately drawn to you, maybe it was because you were the only other person his age or that you had the same taste in comics, but you were grateful for the companionship.

You clung to him because you were broken, the shadow of the girl you were before the world fell, and he made you feel whole again.

He made you feel like all the fighting, struggling, and surviving you went through every day was worth it. He reminded you that you're still just a teenager despite having to grow up fast in a world bent on killing you. He taught you how to smile again, your laugh was as foreign as your previous life until he reminded you what it sounded like.

He showed you how to love again and you fell in love with him.

You never got to tell him how much he meant to you, how you cherished him, and now you never will. Hope was something you lost a long time ago, now it was only you and this road.

The shuffling of feet catches your attention and you manage to lift your head in the direction of the noise.

A group of people carefully approach you, their bodies slowly closing in on where you are in the middle of the street. You don't blame them for being cautious, you can't even begin to imagine what you look like right now.

You opt not to move, save for swiveling your body completely in their direction, if this is your end than you choose to face it head on.

They're close enough now for you to start to recognize them. You reconsider how much time has passed, by the amount of facial hair hiding Rick's face and the length of Carl's soft hazel locks you'd think it's been years.

Rick is of course leading the pack, Carl matching his steps, Michonne just behind them, and Daryl bringing up the rear. Their steps falter before you, various emotions flash across their faces when the realize who you are.

The most prominent of all these emotions were the tears streaming down Carl's perfectly sculpted cheeks, the trails cutting through the grime gathered on his freckled skin.

You don't cry, but you flash your teeth at him, a smile that stretches your face.

Your body is suddenly stumbling it's way towards him, arms outstretched and eager hands grabbing.

How you longed to be in his arms once more, to have his large hands cup your back and pull you flush against his chest. To be wrapped in his protective embrace, your bodies tangled together like twine, and nothing else in the world mattered.

He raises his arms as well, his beautiful blue eyes set on you and you alone. Rick rushes to say something to him, the other two stepping forward with arms raised as well. You'd love to have a group hug later, but right now you only need your Carl, your adorable blue eyed boy in the dumb sheriff's hat.

Your finger tips brush his own and for a moment you're happy, so very happy, but a force slams into your chest and causes you to crumble to the ground in a pile of flesh and blood.

It takes a moment for you to realize that force was a bullet. A bullet from the gun in the shaking hands of the adorable blue eyed boy in the dumb sheriff's hat.

You groan, struggling to your feet. You hear voices, one you will always know to be Carl's sobbing to his father, explaining why he had to be the one to do it. That he promised.

You stand on shaky feet, gravity and your own sense of balance fighting against you, but you manage to stay up. Moans and groans fall from your lips, the pain completely numb to you.

He shot you. Carl Grimes, the boy who swore to always protect you no matter what, actually fucking shot you.

Why would he do that? I mean, sure you probably looked like hell and could do with a shower, but honestly was that any reason to shoot you?

The question of why rings in your head along with the clicking of a gun.

Cool metal presses against your forehead, forcing you to lift your eyes up to meet the endless blue ocean you fell in love with.

You do nothing but stare for a moment, allowing you the one pleasure of getting lost in his eyes. There were so many things you had yet to do, so many things you still long to do, but there was one that you yearn for above all else.

All you want to do is kiss him. One kiss and you could leave this world happy.

His finger twitches against the trigger, his entire body shivering with sobs held behind clenched teeth. He's crying, the tears unrelenting since the first moment he laid eyes on you, and he's repeating a single phrase under his breath that even from this distance you have to strain to hear.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” he whimpers, his voice cracking.

Was he sorry he shot you? Maybe he blames himself for losing you during the fall of the prison? Or maybe he's apologizing for all the missed opportunities, all the words left unsaid, all the things he never got to experience with you.

Sorry that he never told you how much you mean to him, how much he cherishes you, loves you.

Sorry he never got to kiss you.

“I'm sorry, I love you,” he whispers before lodging a bullet between your eyes.

In the second before you leave this diseased world it all clicks, and you remember.

Oh yeah, you're a walker.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this is one hell of a way to start off my Carl Grimes/Reader Collections.


End file.
